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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Husam miniseries, part deux: Tharwat calls back

In his second press conference this week, Husam, the masked witness who recanted, said through his lawyer today that his Lebanon-based fiancée, Tharwat al-Hujeiri, and her family, are being pressured to discredit him in the media. He said that the same Lebanese parties that threatened and pressured him are pressuring his fiancée (whose name means fortune in Arabic) and her family through the "temptation of money and gifts."

To elucidate matters, my evil anti-Syrian head decided to dramatize a phone conversation that allegedly took place between Husam and Tharwat, whose engagement, Elaph claims, was facilitated by Rustom Ghazali, the former Syrian ruler of Lebanon. The phone conversation, a distraught Husam said today, prompted this press conference.

Tharwat calls back

Tharwat: Aloh? Husam? Shlonak Habibi?

Husam: Who are you?

Tharwat: I am Tharwat, the love of your life, apple of your eyes. Remember me? Rustom brought us together. Have you seen him? Is he going to Vienna with you?

Husam: Hmmmm. Why do you ask? Who have you been talking to?

Tharwat: Husam habibi, come back to me. Where is that picture you promised me with Saad?

Husam: Are you alone? Who gave you this number?

Tharwat: Husam—why did you change your mind habibi? What happened to our planned trip to Paris? You said we were going ten days ago but you went to your village instead. And now you are in Damascus!

Husam: I am going to hang up now.

Tharwat: Hushus! Are you leaving me for Rustom? OK.. never mind… I don't want to go to Paris anymore, Saad doesn't care about us! I told you that but didn't believe me!

Husam: Did somebody put you up to this?

Tharwat: Hashusak shoo sexy you looked! Was that the Armani suit that Rustom "bought" you from Aishti last year? I miss you Hushus. I miss our trips along the St George, even though you stopped taking me there after Rustom blew up Abu Evil Hariri. Aloooooooo? You still there?

Husam: Are they pressuring you? Are they giving you cars and jewelry and tempting you with money?

Tharwat: What are you talking about, Hushus. No more jewelry since Rustom left. Sigh. Those were the days. How I miss our chats and the special injections you said made me look like those girls in Maameltein. By the way, I ran out. Where can I find more? And can I have that car you talked about on television?

Husam: I will do something about this. Don't say anything to anyone.

Tharwat: Don't say what?

Husam: Rustom and Assef warned me that they will get to you. Did you see my press conference today? I pre-empted it!

Tharwat: You had another one today? Where?

Husam: At the Meridien Hotel.

Tharwat: Isn't that where you told me Assafsaf and Rustom planned the explosion? You said you would take me there and show me…

Husam hangs up.

Meanwhile, a source at the Syrian foreign ministry said this today: (AFP)
Syria is continuing a complete cooperation with the commission of inquiry but wishes that this is done far from the eyes of the media.

If the Syrian intelligence kills her or her family, we're going to look like donkeys. Everybody will accuse her.

What is funny with the Syrians is that they accuse the others of doing their own crimes and using their own methods. Like Hitler did with the Reichstag fire.
I meant "Everybody will accuse Lebanon"
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